Monday, November 29, 2010

Depression... disgrace...

Why is it whenever I look into the mirror I see nothing but total ugliness staring me back in the face?

I can't see anything but ugliness. It's like a disease that I can't seem to shake... It comes in waves that I cannot go over. Why can't I seem to shake it? WHAT THE MESS IS WRONG WITH ME?!?! Am I dumb? Wait, don't answer that, I know the answer is yes...

My TIP Mentor gave me a little sheet that said "You can't learn to love others until you love yourself." Yeah. But where does that get me. I can't love myself until I know that at least one person in this world sees me as attractive. That's what's wrong with me. I KNOW I am unattractive and there is nothing that will change my mind of that....

Why am I on a high of happiness, and whenever I get on this high I get killed by others because they beat me down because of my sarcasm. I can /never/ be happy, can I? I try to be sweet, but I fail...

Whatever happens...... I. just. fail. I don't think I can expand on my point anymore than just that.... I. just. fail.

No comments:

Post a Comment