Things I've Learned in 2010

Goodness.

Yes I know it's like 2 in the morning, but I really have a case of Insomnia and I can't get to sleep. So, I made some Crystal Light Fruit Punch, it's muy delicioso, and since it is now officially New Year's Eve,I'm going to share with you the things I learned in 2010. Here we go!

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• Don't ever give up no matter what.
• Friends are there for you in any circumstance.
• Love isn't going to appear magically if you go looking for it, you must wait and reap the benefits whenever and wherever they appear.
• If something doesn't feel right, don't do it.
• It's never too late to give someone a second chance.
• Biffles can come in many different types, but don't be afraid to look for them! ;)
• Depression hurts, yeah, but don't push yourself away from the help that is being offered.
• Your friends love you for who you are.
• And they love you as much as you love them.
• Don't limit yourself to what you think you're only capable of, push those boundaries and take a few risks!
  
• Take Chances. Make Mistakes. Get Messy.
• The fear of rejection is inevitable, don't scare yourself away from love by just this one fear, it's not worth getting scared of it over.
  
• Love your friends with all of your heart, and they will love you just as much the same back.
• DRAMA GOES EVERYWHERE. It doesn't leave after High School. (Sorry!)
• Finally, go out and have fun. Fun with friends who share similar values and interests as yourself. Yes, branch out to others, but be willing to step back and chill with friends in your own comfort zone more. They appreciate it as much as you do. I promise. ;)

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I've been through a ton this year, Dames at Sea, heartbreak and repair, All-State, UT, formation of many Biffles, a shooting, Senior Solo, Winter Guard captain, Graduation, College Life (parties and classes included), Video Games of 2010, and some of the happiest days of my life.

2010 in all has been filled with many ups and downs but all in all I say it was a great year. I've met some friends who are absolutely amazing and who I could never do anything without. I've met so many new faces and have been dealt heartbreak and happiness all minutes within each other. Life is so unexpected, but that's the beauty of it.

Who would want to go through life, knowing whats around every corner? Who would want to see that sharp up-climb coming for them, only for a steep drop into depression to await them afterwards? Why would that be fun? You see, this is what makes life exciting! We are expecting days to be utter crap, and then one of our friends takes us for frozen yogurt and laughs our cares away. Did you see that friend coming to cheer you up? I think not.

What I'm trying to say is... have fun with life. Don't let it drag you down in case you have a bad day. Your friends are always there to help you have a good time no matter what. Have faith in them and love them with all of your heart, and your sadness will soon melt away.

So, from me, Daniel Jenkins, I would like to wish you, yes you, personally, a Happy New Year in the Year 2011. Thanks for reading, and I hope 2010 was filled with many memories that you can look back upon and smile and if not, gear up for an amazing 2011, because YOU DESERVE IT! I will talk with y'all later!

Love,
Deej

P.S. My New Year's Resolution? Killer abs. And my top biffle has already promised to help me out with that! xD

PS2 Games, Biffles, Laziness OH MY!!!

Biffle Brag Blog, Day 4: Josh Martinez & Brian Chenault

Well, since these two are together, it only makes sense right?

Josh Martinez

Well, what can I say about this guy? Lol, jk, he's amazing.

I met Josh also through my friend Ronnie, and let me just say he is a great guy. He's fun, chipper, and always smiling, and he can never cease to make me laugh. His presence is like the Sun is right there with me and it makes me happy. His laugh is infectious and I can never not feel good when he's around.

What I love about Josh is how much he cares for his friends. Josh is so caring towards me and I appreciate it so much. He always wants to make me feel better and he truly makes me feel loved every time I see him.

Josh, if you are reading this, I just want to say thank you for being so amazing. I love you to death. You are always there for me, and I can never forget the amazing things you have done for me this past semester, and I hope you and Brian have a long and lasting relationship, because you deserve it. I love you.

Brian Chenault

Before I start I have to do this..... :Q <--- Don't ask, inside joke

This guy is great. He is sweet, funny, articulate, and smart. He's really a jack of all trades. This guy also can make me laugh whenever and he truly makes my life great.

Brian is a thinker. His attitudes on life and love are truly great, and I look at him during some of his problems and the way he maneuvers them is so great, so, I see him as a source of inspiration. He is always there to ask me what's wrong and always willing to listen to me whenever I have something to say.

He's been pushing me to be more open about myself and to try new things, and I appreciate his valiant efforts, and maybe one of these days I will step out of my shell, but we'll just have to see.

Brian, if you are reading this, just know that you are definitely amazing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You have so much going for you with your amazing and kind personality that I wouldn't be surprised how successful you become. I hope you and Josh do well together. You deserve this happiness with your personality and outlooks on life and love. I love ya!

Love you two biffles! ;)

Biffle Brag Blog, Day 3: Jessica Munoz & Chelsea Fisher

Jessica Munoz

I have to say, this is my ULTRA AMAZING BIFFLE!! I love her.

Well, this girl has been with me ever since my freshman year of High School, and she is pretty much amazing. Her personality is so infectious. She livens up every room she walks into and she truly knows how to put a smile on my face.

I miss most of our jokes whenever I'm at college. I really do. I would laugh and do the Chicken McNuggets dance (Youtube it), and people just stare at me like I'm some sort of an oddball. It really makes me kinda sad. I miss her so much. She was there to cheer me up during my depressing moments and she was there to make me laugh as we danced the nights away in the football stands.

This girl's heart is huge. She cares about her friend's, at least that's what I get, and I miss her so much when I am at UT. It makes me sad to think how I ever would've gotten through High School without her. She is my biffle. My TOP BIFFLE.

Jessica, if you are reading this, just know I want to thank you for your amazingness during High School and for everything you did for me. I love you so much and I hope you enjoy your Ke$ha CD, and I cannot wait until we go and do stuff together again! We are the best of friends! LOVE YOU!

Chelsea Fisher

"Do you think when you die it's gonna be all sugar and rainbows?" - Inside Joke, it takes too long to explain.

Oh. My. Goodness. This girl, I love so much. I have way too much fun with her whenever we are together. She has that sort of infectious sarcasm that is super hilarious. I met her through Calculus class Senior Year, and we nerded out to each other every single day. We'd freak out over Final Fantasy XIII (Going so far as to import it), and we'd play video games together and just talk. Talk like best friends should. With dirty jokes thrown all up in there of course. :P

Chelsea has a good outlook on life, I believe. She believes in being ourselves even though we think down upon ourselves, we should think of our biffles and love them and we will become happy again. (I hope I got that right). She's an amazing person who is there for me whenever I am depressed and we've been having fun Skype dates ever since I've been at college. I think about her every day and I hope she is doing well.

Chelsea, if you are reading this, I just wanna say I LOVE YOU. You are truly an inspiration to me. We've grown so close this past year, it's unbelievable. I feel I can confide anything in you and you can just hold me and give a great big hug that I love to get from you. You are beautiful Chelsea, in every way possible. You are so great to me and the love you have inside of you is amazing. I never will forget you and your amazingness, and I hope we never lose touch. <3

Biffle Brag Blog, Day 2: Alicia Jones & Taylor Morgan

Yeah, I'm doing two, so what?

Alicia Jones

This girl is my ultimate nerd buddy. No joke.

I love this girl so much. Alicia is the kind of girl who's sweet to everyone she meets and is not afraid to let her inner nerd show. She loves TRON and Transformers and she's such a nice girl when you get to know her. Her attitude is very caring and she always lets you know how much she cares about her friends. She is absolutely 100% amazing.

She also loves Silent Hill, which she has been getting me into as of recently. She even let me borrow Silent Hills 1 - 4. I was so stoked. I didn't really play many of them, but I still had fun. She and I finished the 2nd one together at a sleepover we had a couple of days ago, and I loved every minute with her. She knows just what to say, and our jokes between us never get old.

Alicia, if you are reading this, just know I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have done for me in high school and beyond. You are truly an inspiration to me in everything you do, and I know when things look bad, sometimes you just gotta keep on trucking, so I know things'll work out. I love you so much my friend, and just keep reaching for those stars, and I'll be here to help you every step of the way.

Taylor Morgan

OH MY GOODNESS! IT'S MY ULTRA MOVIE PREMIERE BUDDY AHHHHH!!!!

Haha, but anyways, this girl is amazing as well. (All of my biffles are amazing, btw)

Taylor has that spunky personality that just says, "HELLO WORLD, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE I'M DOING ME AND I LIKE IT!" Her exuberance lights up every room she walks into, and she is truly a light in my life. I love her to death and I love how much she cares for all of her close buddies and the things she will do for them to show that sense of care.

Taylor is loud, but that's ok, as it goes perfectly with my sense of loudness. She's a great compliment to my overall sense of loud as well. I love Taylor, and I am glad she is one of my biffles.

Taylor, if you are reading this, just know that I am so happy things are going well for you right now, and I hope they stay this way forever. You deserve this amazingness because of your amazing personality. I hope the new year brings you much happiness because I love you so, and you will always be my #1 Premiere Buddy. ;)

I love you two!

Biffle Brag Blog, Day 1: Mary Roby

So, I've decided to start a "brag blog" for all of my biffles, where I talk about them, what I like about them, and why they are my biffle. I have 9 to go through, and if you are one of my biffles, expect, MANY MANY nice things said about you.

So, let's begin with...

Mary Roby

Oh my goodness, where do I begin with this gurl? This gurl is absolutely positively amazing, real talk.

Mary Roby is a friend of mine who I met through my friend Ronnie, but really met her through my Rhetoric / UGS class 1st Semester of Freshman Year at UT. I love this girl. She is funny, amazing, sincere, and always willing to talk about her attitudes with no trouble at all.

What I love about Mary is her way of looking at life. She is one of those people who is like "(Insert expletive here) the haters" to those who don't care, and she is always there to laugh up any awkward situations or turn the tables on a rather depressing conversation.

Like the other day, I was in Rhetoric class looking down, and she said we should go to the Dobie Mall and check out the video game store just to cheer me up. We chatted about random things whilst she tried to keep my mind off of my depression, and I love her so much for that.

She loves video games which is another boost for me, because she could be there playing Metal Gear Solid and yelling at the screen to make Snake go faster! She just lights up my life and I couldn't live without her. She's been over to my dorm on multiple occasions just to chill and hang out, and I've loved spending the quality time with such a great person.

She also teaches all about the new lingo these days. That sounds pretty bad, but she loves me all of the same when I totally slaughter some of the "hip" new words that are thrown about.

Mary, if you are reading this, just know, that I love you so much. You make my days hilarious and our adventures together seem to never end. I will always break it down with you in the hallways to "Gold Digger" as we trip on the stairs back from Rhetoric class and "break it down." I love you girl, and please let us hang out and play more Metal Gear Solid, our MGS4 stuff was really fun, now I wanna go through the whole series! You are so awesome don't let haters bring you down, just hold your head up and shank 'em like Ezio! Haha, just kidding! :P LOVE YOU!

Friends

We really take them for granted don't we?

They are there for us through the best of times and the worst of times. They are there to comfort us whenever we are feeling depressed, sad, miserable, or lonely, and truly show us what it means to just keep on moving in this crazy world. They are there to hold our hand and journey with us as we skip down the yellow brick road to each of our own "Emerald Cities." I've never really come out and said everything I like about my friends, and since I just downed a nice snack, I'm in a writing mood.

Now my friends are amazing people. They truly are. I go throughout life everyday and see some dumb people do some dumb stuff, but these people are different. They know who I am and they don't care about my faults, they just emphasize the things I am good at doing and keep me focused on them. They are there for me during my depressing times, and they try as hard as they can to turn my frown upside-down, and I appreciate them every little bit for that.

I have a lot of down times. More so than up times I do believe, however, my friends are always there to get me through these rough patches. Let's say I got a C on a paper, they offer a video game marathon that night to cheer me up, or a trip to lunch where all we do is sit, gossip, and laugh the afternoon away. It makes me feel better, and I truly believe my friends are what keeps me going in this crazy world known as college life.

BEST FRIENDS, or "biffles," as I affectionately call them, are a completely different story.

They are my life. These people are what make me keep going. These people make me strive for the next day and put on that Annie attitude and pray that the sun'll come out. I look to them for advice, friendship, or even just a hug to show how much I care for them.

If you are one of my biffles reading this, (or if not that's perfectly fine too), I just want you to know I love you with all of my heart. You mean the world to me and I could never ask for anything more. You make me happy and smile when I get the smallest funny text message from you that brightens my day. Since love is seemingly not so great of an option at the present, you are what keeps me going. You are amazing and I couldn't live without you. Yeah, sure, it sounds hokey and corny, but it's the truth. I love my biffles as if I was born and raised with them like brothers and sisters. They'll always hold the biggest place in my heart.

I took a personality quiz on Facebook today.

It told me my aura was blue, (LUCARIO!?!?!), and that I was the most compassionate person in the world, and I'm here to give love, bring it, and spread it. Well, ain't it the truth? I thrive on relationships with people and they are what holds a high notch in my goals. Yeah, grades and money are important, but I feel as though relationships are the biggest thing that I want to strengthen as I go through life, because even if I fall off of the tightrope, a safety net is always nice. :)

Friends, Best Friends, Biffles, they all share one common thing. Care. We care about others and how they are doing, otherwise, how would we be friends with people if all we did was not care? I cannot think of any reason.

And Biffles, if you are reading this, don't worry, the amount of love and care I have for you is to infinity and beyond. ;)

Metal Gear Solid!!! Oh, and some other stuff...

Oops!...I Did It Again!

Before you read, this is not going to be a sunshine lollipops and rainbows post, just because the title is all fun and stuff. It's going to be depressing.... ONCE AGAIN. You have been forewarned.



Well, I have officially done it again. Deej is once again in a dark, mustering, deep state of depression. And you know what? The situation is the same as before, and I am not even joking. Another one of those build you up moments life throws at you, only for you to realize later that the pitcher threw the ball a little too fast and nailed you right in the face. It seems like every time I go up to bat, I get built up just to get nailed in the face, but I get granted a walk anyways, which seems to ease it out of me, in the form of my best friends. At least they are there to cheer for me no matter what...

Now, I'd rather not go into details about things as of late, because it is a very touchy subject, but just know that all it was was me liking someone and then my hopes and dreams were crushed. That's all. That's all I really want to divulge at the moment, as it is still pretty personal to me anyways.

Oh well, what am I going to do now? Give up? That seems like the more reasonable solution, I mean, it seems life can't ever give me a break... This doesn't help the whole "try and try to fail" scenario I mentioned earlier, and doesn't go to help my self-esteem anyways. Now, my self-esteem has hit Rock Bottom, and no, not from a return trip from "Glove World," mind you.

I try everyday to look up, and as of recently I was looking upwards, high towards the sky, aiming high and flying just as high as I could, but the Icarus inside myself got the better of me, and I plummeted down, down, down. However, for me, I didn't get a Sea named after me, which I think would've cushioned the blow in the long run.

I love my friends so much. You have no idea. They help me get through the rough patches like now, but sometimes I think there are tons that I have to sort out myself... stuff I need to overcome and look past in order to aim high for the future, but, as soon as I did, it decides to happen again, complete with a "MERRY FRICKIN' CHRISTMAS" attached to the label of this "happy" gift.

Ah well, it seems I'll never be able to catch a break in this world, as I'm just bound to live in depression. EVERY time I look up, it slaps me across the face from dreaming too high, and I go back to my bedroom not even wanting dinner that night. Nowadays, I just want to sit and cry,but whenever I cry, it seems no tears want to flow. It's like I want to cry, and have every reason to, but I just can't. It's basically dry heaving with crying... I'm not joking.

Sure you can laugh all of this post up and be like "Oh Deej try again..." but it's like trying again at one of my crazy video games, after my "3rd times a charm rule," it's pretty much done. At least now I learned something.

My heart will always be worn on my sleeve, but now it seems I need to pull it up higher and closer to me, so it doesn't get broken every. single. time.

Ah well, Merry Christmas, Daniel, and a Happy New Year. My New Year's Resolution you ask? Try desperately not to fall too head over heels again.

Life's a Beach, and I'm Getting Swamped by Waves...

Hey everybody!

Wow, well, haven't I been a terrible person recently? I'm sorry to anyone who was looking forward to a new chapter in the "Daniel Saga" this last week. I just wasn't feeling a blog entry at the moment. Now, as I am on my Asian Religion Final Study Break, I might as well start up a blog post... so, here I go!

It is currently December 7th 2010, and I am sitting in my room trying to study for my Asian Religion Final tomorrow at 2 PM. It's gonna be a fun afternoon, because these terms are probably going to be taking over my life for the next 24 hours, hopefully I'll have some study breaks thrown in there, haha!

Doesn't studying suck?

It's like, every time you want to study, a song pops into your head, or, you think about something that you forgot to do and it keeps eating away at your mind every single time you try to go back to study. It's absolutely terrible... UGH! That's been happening to me a lot recently, and it annoys the crazy out of me to the point where I wanna just scream..... into a pillow of course, my voice travels enough as it is.

Anyways, who wants to talk about Depression!?!?!?

Well, it's really not all that bad recently. I have gotten so much better about it all over the last week. It's just every time I'm about to go to bed, my mind starts to wander, and within that wandering, it gets to the depressing stuff. The stuff about unattractiveness and weakness starts to set in, and I reach the ever-present conclusion that I will never find love. I try as hard as I can to push these thoughts away and think about things like video games are the like, but I just never can... it makes me incredibly irritated... but there's just like nothing I can do...

My depression comes and goes like the waves on a beach. They get really high and my depression peaks to the point where I'm literally going to crash myself. Sometimes, it's a calm day and I can run around and splash about with some casual waves just slightly tugging at the bottom of my heels with its undertow. However, ever since I've been at college, it's been the former. My depression has peaked on multiple occasions to the point where I just don't even wanna go to the beach, because

1. I'll burn
2. I don't look that great in a swimsuit
3. Those waves would kill me

However, even those moments when I do decide to take a chance, nothing helps me, and I end up drowning in my own ocean.

Anyways, I tell myself that "Daniel, you need to take a chance today, no matter what, you must run out there and face those waves with a sense of determination." But see, I tell myself this every morning before I head off to that beach, and I get swamped EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It's like no matter how big of a surfboard I buy, I will always fall flat on my face and end up scraping myself on the coral that grows just below me.

Wow, happy metaphor there wasn't it? >.<

Me and love aren't on good terms right about now. I wish it could be better, and once again, I tell myself everyday that I must look forward to the future, but as of now... it becomes bleak, faded, and full of mystery.

Plus, who would like me with all of this baggage they see me with if they would ever read this blog? Yeah, I may be nice, but I just wish someone would see me as attractive, and if not now... I guess I just have to keep on waiting, (Waiting). Waiting on the World to Change.

But as I know the World doesn't like to change for me. I'm a depression prone individual who doesn't like confrontation and who secretly vows for love but can never end up grabbing it in the process or making something out of himself. Should I just stop trying?

I can hope I find the answer to this one soon.

As of right now, I'm just gonna try to avoid the beach altogether, but maybe take a chance if someone wants to come alongside me and tell me that everything's going to be alright.