Serious Time

Hello y'all,

Well, Texas lost, but I seem to be in a depressed mood about other things though.

I just recently made a new group of friends, and they seem to be relatively nice to me. However, I just feel like I don't fit in. At all. They don't usually talk to me unless someone comments on something or sees that I seem to be looking "emo." For example, today I went to go pick up some stuff from my friend and his friends, from said group, were surrounding him. They just stared at me and didn't really talk to me much when I picked up my stuff. Perhaps it was a mistake on my part thinking they were ignoring me, but I'm not really sure.

We went dancing last night. I thought I had fun when I first came back, but afterwards and today... I just felt separated from the group. I felt like people were just trying to dance with me just to be nice. They weren't really wanting to, they just were for the sake of it. My one friend tried to make me have a good time, and I told him I did, but as I look back, I felt I wasn't really there with REAL friends... friends that knew me, cared about me, and wanted to make sure I had a good time. I just felt like I was not an amazing person everyone loved like everyone else seemed to be....

And of course being the dumb person that I am I had to have a crush on someone when I was there. I hate crushing on people. I hate it so much. Mainly for the fact that I know they probably don't see me as attractive, they think I'm just.... there. The last time I majorly crushed on someone it ended horrifically, absolutely horrifically... I hate having feelings for people ever since then, as I know all of these feelings are never returned back to me. Oh well, that's how things work for me I suppose....

Anyways, I hope this wasn't as much of a downer post as I think it was, (which it probably was), but I hope y'all have a good rest of the weekend.